Woman Parks Maserati in Middle of the Road, Establishes “Central Park” with Chinese Characteristics

car parked in middle of street chongqing china woman driver policemanAuthenticity aside, these may be the most perfect set of pictures to tell a one-act story. Of crime and passion.

Picture One (above): A Kubrickian/Wes Anderson establishing shot begins our story with a bystander thrown in for an asymmetry highlight and as a surrogate for the audience. Themes of financial hegemony, class struggle and brazen corruption are introduced as well as fail, lol, women drivers and Asian drivers. For an act of convenience, it would make more sense for the driver to park on the sidewalk in the space exactly in front of the entrance, but Kubrick would none of hear of it.

car parked in middle of street chongqing china woman driver policemanPicture Two: Introduction of the hero (above). The symmetry is dropped to skew in the favor of our hero, the police officer who is not identified as a police officer in the story below. “Chekov’s ticket” is introduced; a conflict between a crime being committed and the enforcer of said law is set for a eventual showdown.car parked in middle of street chongqing china woman driver policemanPicture Three: The plot thickens. One of the widest vehicles on the road, worthy of having a “Wide Load” sign hanging on its ass, is shown to be passing by. On a dead end road. With two lanes. Having come from nothing in the distance. Not only is the law being broken, but the civil harmony of crane operators is in disarray. The theme of “money is untouchable” reaches its zenith. Despite the police presence (police van to the far left), the policeman is not seen directing traffic.car parked in middle of street chongqing china woman driver policemanPicture Four: The climax. Our villain and our hero meet at last, both in the motions of performing their ritual actions: the police officer (who has now misplaced his belt) pointing with authority, and the rich woman reaching for her handbag.

car parked in middle of street chongqing china woman driver policemanPicture Five: Denouement – harmony restored. With the issuing of a ticket, order is established within this chaos. For all the effort the story goes to emphasizing how expensive this car is and that “making a scratch” on it will be the financial ruin of any person who is dumb enough to do so, the policeman properly writes up the ticket upon the trunk of the Maserati. That big left toe is a Tarantino reference.

As for the passion part, it may be inferred that the woman who has returned from her job as a intern for which she was at work for about an hour isn’t an intern. More like, “in turns”.

Also: all-black rims? Grandmother has no taste.

[All photos from Sohu News]

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From Sohu News:

22 Year-Old Driver of Maserati Parks Car Aggressively [in Middle of the Road]

car parked in middle of street chongqing china woman driver policemanAt approximately 3 PM on August 9th, 2013 in the city of Chongqing (above), a loyal reader [alerted this reporter to this incident]. A Miss Wang stated that a white Maserati had parked in the middle of the road on the double yellow meridian line outside a tall building for a public institution near the Ranjia Dam in Yubei district. The driver of this car was a beautiful woman over over 1.7 meter [5 foot 6 inches] in height; after stopping the car there she simply left. Miss Wang said, “Parking a car like this shows that this person doesn’t have any sense of civil duty.”

car parked in middle of street chongqing china woman driver policemanUpon closer inspection, this reporter discovered that this white Maserati has a license plate beginning with “渝A” [designating it as registered in the city of Chongqing] and that the model of the car is Gran Turismo. A search on the internet reveals that the cheapest price for the basic model of an Maserati Gran Turismo is 2 million RMB [approximately 326K USD]. Even though this is a dead end street, the traffic is still flowing with many cars that are mostly here to park. This reporter has discovered that even though the road is rather wide, motorists passing this car will slow down when passing the Maserati. A mobile electric crane that was stopped in the area was especially careful when passing by due to its great volume. A person had even reminded the driver, “Be careful! Make a scratch and the cost of your entire truck won’t be able to cover the cost of that [Maserati]!”

car parked in middle of street chongqing china woman driver policeman21 year-old Xiao Wang lives nearby; as she took pictures he said to this reporter, “The person who parked this car must come from a family of money and affluence and are used to getting their own way. Whatever rule or law won’t be acknowledged by them.” 40 year-old Mr Zhou has a different opinion. “Cars aren’t allowed to be parked upon the double yellow meridian lines. The driver of this car must know this. It’s probably because they couldn’t be bothered that they parked here. How much is the fine? That person definitely couldn’t care less.”

car parked in middle of street chongqing china woman driver policemanAt about 4:10 PM in the afternoon, a woman wearing a black and white horizontally-striped T-shirt and jean shorts hurried to the scene. The woman admitted the car belonged to her. The woman stood about 1.7 meters tall and was quite pretty; her name was Xu and is 22 years-old. Xu had recently graduated from university and was working at the institution nearby as an intern. What is the reason that this pretty woman would flaunt traffic regulations and park her car in the middle of the road? Xiao Xu explained that the parking garage at her workplace was full, and so everybody would park their cars on this street. When she had arrived here today, other cars had parked upon the double yellow line and so she followed others by doing the same thing; at the present time, she couldn’t explain where all the other cars had gone to.

car parked in middle of street chongqing china woman driver policemanWhen this reporter passed on several opinions of passerbys [who had seen her car parked in the middle of the road], Xiao Xu said that it may be the car itself that was causing people to get angry. As Xu explains, this car is registered in her grandmother’s name; it is usually left at home and not often driven. Feeling that this is such a waste, Xu was allowed to drive this Maserati for a period of time; it was unexpected that she would encounter such a hassle after driving it for just a couple of days. Qi Gaofeng [a person not positively identified as the police officer shown in these photos] announced that a fine was being issued to Xu. When Xu accepted the ticket, she stated that a) she would absolutely never again park like this and that no matter how much more she would have to walk, she would always find a parking space to park her car in, and b) she would change cars tomorrow.

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  • http://www.kalanstar.com/ KopyKatKiller

    In a civilized country it would have got jacked. Thanks to the wise leadership of the dear leaders, the driver didn’t have to worry about that.

  • Brett

    I’m always afraid to comment here because I can never match your wittiness, and I’m really gullible… But all I see here is a girl asking for her Maserati to get smashed.

    Is this a publicity stunt, too?

    • http://sinopathic.com/ terroir

      Bread Human,

      please comment. Your insight is like a golden libation of fine ambrosia. I always thought that my gifts of “Juno-mouth” were used for the forces of good, but if they are keeping you from expressing your full “Breadiness” then I will give you a pass.

      I imagined this would be of interest to the Western world. This screams “fail” and “lol” and “Chinese/women drivers can’t park” to English readers when this is purely a case of 富二代 (rich brats) and corruption, of mistresses, of the untouchable status of money to Chinese readers. Yes, these pictures emphasize the class struggle in China.

      Long ago I tried to verify whether news was real or not; now, I realize that real or fake isn’t the issue because a) the fact that the lines of news and fiction are already hazy is significant on its own, and b) that this haziness gives rise to a message/lesson is the important part. This/most of Chinese news is trying to TEACH you something. You’ll always get the lesson (no subtlety here), so then it becomes a case of understanding the teacher/lesson giver.

      That said, these five photos are perfect. They don’t need captions. They are understandable in any language. As reflected in the pre-amble, there is enough strange details to warrant suspicion, but what does it matter? This is moral learning through news at its finest.

  • http://sinopathic.com/ terroir

    “my Chinese license”
    So you’re a foreigner who drives in China? What will you do when you get into a traffic accident, establish a instant “English corner”?

    Tow trucks don’t exist in China. If something has to be moved, they’ll call in a flatbed truck or something. No, the cop above was adamant to stick around and speak to the woman driver, perhaps a time period of a hour but at least time to park his van (seen to the left) and take his belt on and off. In another pic he is seen calling it in, but yet he only writes a ticket when she finally shows up, so it’s a good thing that she only works an hour a day as an intern.

    My doubt is stamped all over this story, but Western news just wants the showcase the “objective” facts about this when in China this has a different narrative altogether.