“Goddess of Chengguan”; Hawkers Say “Once She Smiles, I’ll Do Anything She Says”
Xiong Chaorong is a “goddess” – that unattainable touch of divinity that will forever attract men; that lofty pinnacle of ideal femininity that other women want. Such is the only appropriate way for Chinese to describe such fair beauty; “total babe-alicious” is simply not descriptive enough.
While Xiong enjoyed the life of a normal mortal when previously working as a teacher, her promotion to working as a chengguan, otherwise known as a “city bylaw enforcement personnel”, has catapulted her straight to the cosmos.
It could only have been a celestial zephyr that whisked down from heaven this immaculate fairy to Anyue county in Ziyang, Sichuan province. Yes, Xiong made her revealing to all mankind through the use of a rare candid photo that by all rights should be blurry and indistinct that typify photographic evidence of supernatural phenonemon. And of all people, it was netizen “Miracle Brother”, a peddler himself subject to the heavy-handed tactics of the chengguan, who published an online post on November 9th that confirmed the existence of heaven by saying “This is Anyue’s most beautiful chengguan; she is absolutely a goddess.”
Yes, that confirms it: the word of one anonymous netizen that heralds the arrival of the next heavenly body as prophesied by appearing in a grilled cheese sandwich, or not.
But for naysayers who require literal proof of this goddess’ divinity, such are the facts: over the weekend, this divine chengguan was trying to disperse some peddlers that had congregated along the sidewalk of Xinglong Street. The peddlers had put down fruit on the ground that was blocking road access; it was the duty of this angel in corporeal form, along with two non-god colleagues in tow, to uphold the law of man.
Trumpets sounded. Fawns bleated. Xiong said with a smile, “Go to the market area; there are more shoppers there, and sales will be brisker,” and her will was done. The work of this “Chengguan goddess” was done, and only the negative after-effect of a bright halo remained in the dazzled eyes of half-believing converts that swore they could smell ambrosia.
A rainbow shown as Xiong tried to impart her heavenly knowledge to the ignorant. “The use of smiling while trying to convince others is a very effective technique,” she said, blissfully unaware of the threat of power that accompanies the right of authority.
Xiong recently became a chengguan this past June. “I was a teacher before; this is something that is of great benefit to my work as a chengguan. I analyze these situations involving chengguan that happen across the country; using a severe face when trying to convince peddlers to follow your orders will most definitely provoke a contradictory mood.”
Xiong epitomizes the idiom “You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar”; something so true, but the end result is still a jar full of flies.
[Photo from house.jiaodong.net]