Playing All the Different Angels: Chengguan “Goddess” Goes Viral

chengguan goddess

“Goddess of Chengguan”; Hawkers Say “Once She Smiles, I’ll Do Anything She Says”

Xiong Chaorong is a “goddess” – that unattainable touch of divinity that will forever attract men; that lofty pinnacle of ideal femininity that other women want. Such is the only appropriate way for Chinese to describe such fair beauty; “total babe-alicious” is simply not descriptive enough.

While Xiong enjoyed the life of a normal mortal when previously working as a teacher, her promotion to working as a chengguan, otherwise known as a “city bylaw enforcement personnel”, has catapulted her straight to the cosmos.

It could only have been a celestial zephyr that whisked down from heaven this immaculate fairy to Anyue county in Ziyang, Sichuan province. Yes, Xiong made her revealing to all mankind through the use of a rare candid photo that by all rights should be blurry and indistinct that typify photographic evidence of supernatural phenonemon. And of all people, it was netizen “Miracle Brother”, a peddler himself subject to the heavy-handed tactics of the chengguan, who published an online post on November 9th that confirmed the existence of heaven by saying “This is Anyue’s most beautiful chengguan; she is absolutely a goddess.”

Yes, that confirms it: the word of one anonymous netizen that heralds the arrival of the next heavenly body as prophesied by appearing in a grilled cheese sandwich, or not.

But for naysayers who require literal proof of this goddess’ divinity, such are the facts: over the weekend, this divine chengguan was trying to disperse some peddlers that had congregated along the sidewalk of Xinglong Street. The peddlers had put down fruit on the ground that was blocking road access; it was the duty of this angel in corporeal form, along with two non-god colleagues in tow, to uphold the law of man.

Trumpets sounded. Fawns bleated. Xiong said with a smile, “Go to the market area; there are more shoppers there, and sales will be brisker,” and her will was done. The work of this “Chengguan goddess” was done, and only the negative after-effect of a bright halo remained in the dazzled eyes of half-believing converts that swore they could smell ambrosia.

A rainbow shown as Xiong tried to impart her heavenly knowledge to the ignorant. “The use of smiling while trying to convince others is a very effective technique,” she said, blissfully unaware of the threat of power that accompanies the right of authority.

Xiong recently became a chengguan this past June. “I was a teacher before; this is something that is of great benefit to my work as a chengguan. I analyze these situations involving chengguan that happen across the country; using a severe face when trying to convince peddlers to follow your orders will most definitely provoke a contradictory mood.”

Xiong epitomizes the idiom “You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar”; something so true, but the end result is still a jar full of flies.

[Photo from house.jiaodong.net]

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  • wahnwhaaa

    Meh, a more respectful and polite attitude better serves everyone. It distracts less from actual grievances; and the respective government, rather than viewing peasants as trouble-causing rabble, might focus on dealing with the cases of trouble-causing 城管. I would say the same for cops in the US.

  • The Prodigal Son

    When I was growing up in the West, all the other boys around me were interested in boobies, the BIGGER the better. Me, I didn’t even know what boobies were. This was, probably, because I had spent the first few years of my life in the East, where a woman’s beauty was more facial and less bodily. If Chinese boys no matter the age were to discuss a pretty girl, it was because they thought she had a pretty face.

    But it wasn’t so and isn’t so in the West. I think this may have something to do with materialism. You may say I’m stretching it, but I think concerns with the face and eyes have to do with the soul, whereas boobies or ‘T & A’ or Barbie Dolls or cliches like 36-24-36 or I’m a ‘leg man’, what are you?, etcetera, have to do with reproduction and the physical needs of a materialist and I dare say a capitalist existence.

    You walk now, however, into almost any shop in China and almost always the first thing the shopkeeper will do is look at your shoes (if you ain’t White).

    So, no, China is becoming as materialist and capitalist as anywhere else. It is therefore a pleasant surprise to see that a woman is considered beautiful not because of how well she fills out her blouse, or whether she looks good in a thong, but because of something I would say a little bit more soulful.

    Oh, and my dear feminists, please, don’t even start.

    • arterius2

      I don’t know, China is pretty materialistic, if not the most, so I don’t think its got anything to do with whatever souls searching you were talking about… Tho Asians in general are more petite than westerners, so in Asian culture, the main focus for attractiveness isn’t on their size, but rather in their quality, for example, skin tone, skin quality, facial features, and your dress etc. You are basically applying western philosophy here so it doesn’t work. – we’re still materialistic, just on different aspects. Although I’m sure this is partly true as well in the west, movie stars are also chosen for their looks, not just bra size… hey, this isn’t the 80s anymore.

      • The Prodigal Son

        Hi arterius2:

        Not sure if you are understanding what I posted, but please allow me to elaborate.

        We do agree China has become materialistic (aka capitalist), okay, but this means that once upon a time it wasn’t (relatively was not). I therefore found it a ‘pleasant surprise’ that the traditional ways are still part of the zeitgeist here (in other words, a continuing preoccupation with what you call a woman’s ‘quality’ and what I call the ‘more facial and less bodily’).

        There are quite a number of Asian women and men who are not ‘petite’. If you are always in the south (Guangdong province, for example), or if you are not local and raised on the kung fu movies hailing from Hong Kong (which, of course, is next to Guangdong province), then you could be forgiven for thinking that Asian men (read: local Cantonese actors) are petite. Bruce Lee, whose parents were Cantonese, was not very tall.

        I am pointing out was that physical attractiveness is culturally defined or informed, and that there may be a basis in the economic values of the particular culture. This need not be ‘western philosophy’. I just call it thinking.

        • wahnwhaaa

          Last I checked, the face was a part of the body. As are the legs. You know, those limbs used for walking that Chinese boys go crazy for and that Chinese girls love to show off?

          Also, materialism is not capitalism, it is a parallel strain of philosophy that is present in lots of other socio-economic systems like communism, socialism, *and* traditional Chinese society. Remember how women were sold off as property? Or for a modern example, how a woman’s job performance is praised mainly by referencing the merits of her physical appearance? Yea, that kind of materialism.

    • mr.wiener

      tee hee! He said “boobies”.